Saturday, May 15, 2010
Life after break-up-shake-up: the sun does comes out again
It's been a while. A long while. But there's a pretty good reason for it..trust me.
After breaking off our engagement in February with my fiancee, I found myself spiraling into a deep dark depression. I felt like a failure..I mean. I wasn't even married yet! Here we are with a precious one year old child, and it's OVER. Done.
I didn't know how to handle it. Although, I knew deep in my heart that breaking up was best not only for us, but more importantly for our son.
As I'm sitting here writing this, I can't really think of any 'special' beginning with the two of us. He pursued me, and I actually tried to break it off numerous times only to be persuaded back into his "loving" arms. It didn't last long. It never did. But, like the optimistic-by-nature person I tend to be, I tried to look past all of the hurt, shame and verbal abuse and continue on because, tomorrow is a new day, right?
I have to thank him, however for the most precious gift of all-our son. For these past few months I have been soul searching. My state of mind was not sunny, and I didn't even feel like partaking in a hobby whic always made me so happy-blogging. So, in an effort to put the pieces back together for myself and for my son, I stopped cold turkey for a while. After that last post in April,, I didn't check my blog or my blog account emails. I put the blogosphere and all of that "world" behind for a while.
It was a good thing.
Because now, more than ever, I know who I am.
In all of my 27 years, I didn't know who I was. I was, essentially, looking to find myself through others, and even changing myself to suit their needs. Now, I believe that everything in life brings you to where you are in this moment.
And in this moment, I am proud to say that I am at peace with myself, who I am, and what I want.
Are you a single mom? Share your story! You are my hero's.